Griswald Effect

At Winco:

I did not notice at first, not until I pulled the bag away that there were cuts in the plastic bag I was filling up with steel cut oats from the bulk section.  Oats spilled out everywhere... including the inside of my shoe.  I put my hand strategically over the hole and successfully stifled the flow of oats--but not before my shoe was full of oats and half the bag was on the floor. 

An 18-count carton of eggs slipped out of my hands and onto the floor, breaking all 18 eggs. Oh, the carnage... and the mess. 

I didn't notice that the jug that held the gallon of milk had a hole in it until I noticed a mop-wielding box boy following me.  

That one kid who runs around without supervision while mom is engrossed in a phone call, ran like a streak through the store--with her cart.  When we collided, my 20 ounce latte went flying--and a good portion spilled into my shoe--intermingling with the oatmeal that I didn't shake out.  I had breakfast brewing in my sock.  On the brighter side, the effects of oatmeal and milk made for a rather unusual pedicure... my foot is so soft now. 

As if rehearsed, the mopping box boy and I both muttered the same explicit word simultaneously. 

I dropped a bagel.  Like an old tire, it rolled out into the "cart traffic" and fell into a rotating stop.  Some guy inadvertently ran it over and got it wedged inside the wheel.  None-the-wiser, the guy quipped, "I always get the carts with the one wheel that doesn't work."  I'm pretty certain that the wheel would have worked much better without the bagel.  I didn't say a word figuring, it'll work it's way out. 

All this for $30 worth of groceries I needed for some holiday baking.  

So... I go to pay for my groceries, but the bank put a fraud-hold on my debit card so it wasn't working.  Boom.  Despair.  Agony.  In my mind, I over-reacted.  The cashier didn't miss a beat and brought me to my senses before I could melt into some form of dramatic flourish.  "We can take a check..."  One thing I discovered though... it's pretty easy for me to write a check IF and only IF I'd carry my checkbook.  I'd managed to leave my checkbook on my kitchen counter when I cleaned out my purse before going to the store.  Utter brilliance. 

I totally "get" why I'm called Griswald.